Among the many pains, pleasures and paradoxes of motherhood, is the reality that we will never have enough of our children. As mothers, we will do everything in our capacity to stretch time, to keep our kids a little longer, before they sprint into their busy, burgeoning, bountiful lives.
When you have them over for a meal, dessert helps to do just that - letting them linger a little longer, the sweet feeling of the fullness of a room and bellies filled with sweet lasting a little while more.
I learnt this trick, as a young mom, from an elder one, in Bikaner. She spoke to me at length, very often with a faraway look in her eyes, of the growing pains of a growing mom with a brood fast growing up. Inevitably, the recipe she shared with me is a sweet dish, served at the end, to make the moment remain before it runs away!
Our exchange acquainted me with her urgency to soak in these moments of togetherness with her grown children - a feeling, a restlessness, a situation I'd find myself in not too far from then.
It held up a mirror to the very motherly heart we both possessed - one that has the strangest, most inexplicable see-saw of beauty and pain - mixed emotions that we try to constantly sort through.
We are excited about our children's futures and yet dread them growing up.
We long for a full night's sleep but miss the middle-of-the- night-rocking-chair moments.
We want them to be independent and succeed and yet fear they will no longer need us.
We want them to fly but never forget their roots.
And whether you're a mother in Bikaner or a mother in Bombay, young or old, May be the only way to battle this wave of changing, confounding, complex emotions - a never-ending battle within us - is to always prepare and serve dessert.
Because this battle is also proof of our love - a sweetness that must linger a little longer, always a little longer.
MOONG DAAL HALWA
Like motherhood, this takes time and patience and all the love, ghee, warmth and milk you can give.
Additionally (and materially), you will need:
One cup of yellow Moong Daal (split yellow gram)
A cup of warmed milk
A cup and a quarter of sugar
Half a teaspoon of Elaichi (cardamom) powder
A few strands of Kesar (saffron)
Six tablespoons of ghee (clarified butter)
To garnish your dish, you will need:
Two tablespoons of sliced almonds and pistachios
Soak the Moong Daal in water for 3 to 4 hours.
Once the hours have gone by, drain and grind the Daal into a coarse paste using very little water.
If the paste has any excess water remaining after being ground, drain it out through a strainer.
Dissolve the Kesar in one tablespoon of warm milk and keep it aside.
Melt the ghee in a broad, non-stick pan.
Add the Moong Daal paste and stir this mixture continuously, on a low flame, until it turns golden brown.
Thereafter, pour in the warm milk and a cup of warm water and allow this blend to cook as you constantly stir it until all the moisture has been absorbed.
Then, add the sugar.
Stir along and continue to cook this creation on a slow flame until the ghee visibly parts from it, in some measure.
Pour in the tablespoon of milk that the Kesar was dissolved in along with the Elaichi powder and mix it all well.
Garnish your sweet dish with every sliver of the almonds and pistachios before serving it hot.
